Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What’s on Pornhub?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I actually pay taxes

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I can count

I see through liars

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

'No Kings' protests against Trump planned nationwide to coincide with military parade - NPR

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy bullshit

How NASA Plans To Deal With Death In Space - Jalopnik

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What To Expect in the Markets This Week - Investopedia

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can read

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Do you think there will ever be a movie that features a line such as “You graduated at the top of your class in liberal arts, we need your help”?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What are my 10 favorite rock record album opening tracks?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why does the UK Labour MP Jess Philips seem to be such a divisive figure?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Where and how did ballet originate?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Should I become an interior designer or not in today's world?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for fakery

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”